"Upward & Downward Spiral "By: Karina Garcia

It is an upward and downward spiral

Someone please check my vitals

I feel uncomfortably numb

It was my own little world

I was living in a bubble                         

In this little world

Nothing on the outside mattered

Even when my thoughts were scattered

Everything inside my bubble was all that mattered

Until one day that bubble shattered

And everything on the inside scattered

And nothing at all seemed to matter

Now that this bubble was shattered

I am now on the outside wishing I knew what to do

Instead I’m just lying here awake and feeling blue

Figuring out what in the world I must do

If only something I felt I knew

It’s all me and that’s nothing new

I don’t even know my point of view

I wish I could be back in that bubble

Yes it got me in to trouble but now it feels as if it’s doubled

My thoughts are scattered and my heart is shattered

I can’t begin to fathom what really even matters

It is an upward and downward spiral

Someone please check my vitals

I feel uncomfortably numb so much that I can’t feel my thumbs

I speak in more than one tongue but they are all just words

Words with their own meanings

But when I put them together they describe my feelings

Sometimes they bring me healing

But now more than ever is when I need them to be revealing

I can’t seem to find the meaning

My thoughts are racing

I don’t know what dream I’m chasing

Nor where I’m going or where I’m coming from

It is an upward and downward spiral

Someone please check my vitals

I feel uncomfortably numb so much that I can’t hear

Nor feel myself breathe out of my lungs

I am tangled with emotions

I am moving in slow motion but my life is passing me by at a time when I need to fly

All I can do is cry and sit and wonder why

Is this really happening or is it all a lie

Sometimes I feel like I’m going to die

Because my life has passed me by while I was pondering why

My mind is scattered with vivid pictures and memories flashing through my head

I hope these pictures will guide me to the road ahead

But instead all that I do is lye here in my bed

Why can’t I get out of my head?

I hear my life in songs I can sing them over and over both aloud and in my head

Hoping they too will rid me of these feelings and thoughts in my head

And lead me to the road ahead

Instead I am still lying here in my bed

It is an upward and downward spiral

Someone please check my vitals

I feel uncomfortably numb so much that I can’t feel my thumbs

Nor hear or feel myself breathe out of my lungs